Kids

Have you given your leaders a good plan for walking through behavior issues with kids?

In Part 1 of Kids & Behavior Issues we talked about the first two steps you can take to help a child who is exhibiting very poor behavior.

Here are the rest of the steps we ask our small group leaders to take:

Step 3: Set Expectations. When you are talking to a child about their behavior, be sure to tell them what you would like to see them do instead. Paint a clear picture of the behavior that you’re looking for.

Give them the words that they should say in response, or the action that they should do to show the good behavior that you are looking for. Be intentional to not only correct the poor behavior, but to take this opportunity to teach them the right behavior.

Talk through the specific scenario that they have trouble with and give them a new response. Then ask them to tell you what they will do the next time they are faced with that same situation. Listen to or watch them model back to you the new behavior that you’re trying to teach them.

Step 4: Follow Up. When you see improvement and good behavior, give praise. Recognize the effort of this child to improve and do what you asked. Let them know that you noticed and that you are pleased. Noticing good behavior is incredibly motivating to most children.

If you are not seeing improvement, don’t let it go. Get your coach involved and decide together what the next step should be. It might mean going back to Step 2 or it might mean that it’s time to get staff or their parents involved. Your leaders are there to help you, so don’t hesitate to get them involved.

Listen to this podcast that we created for our volunteers to help train them on how to deal with behavior issues in their small group.

Behavior Podcast

As we wrap up this discussion, I want to remind you that when a child is exhibiting extremely poor behavior, there is almost always something more going on with that child than just poor behavior. Sometimes it’s something as simple as boredom or not understanding their learning style. Sometimes it is family issues, sometimes learning struggles, problems at school, abuse, or loss. It could really be so many things.

As leaders in ministry, we must not only help children in this situation overcome the behavior issues but be willing to look deeper. We have to be willing to get involved, to be patient, to be understanding, to listen, to help, to pray, and to point them to the security of a loving, heavenly Father.

Dealing with a behavior issue is really an opportunity to connect to a child, let them know that you care, and help them grow stronger in their faith.

Post written by:  Kendra Fleming - Multi-Campus Children’s Ministry Director