Inside North Point

By Dan Stonaker, Associate Director of Ministry Services, North Point Community Church

“I can’t believe he did that again!”

“Are you kidding me? What were they thinking when they bought that?”  

 Do you find yourself having conversations like this in your head when you hear things that just don’t make sense to you?

I know I do and it happens more than I care to admit. If I’m honest, I really don’t give OTHERS the benefit of the doubt, at least initially. I also know that I expect OTHERS to give ME the benefit of the doubt and an opportunity for ME to explain. Are you with me on this?

Here’s what helps ME and OTHERS in our organization. Whenever ME starts having those imaginary conversations in my head with OTHERS, it’s time to PICK UP THE PHONE. The more I don’t want to have the conversation, the more important it is for ME to have it. What do you say when it’s time to have that conversation?

I try to start those conversations with “Can you help me understand . . .?” It’s not accusatory and it builds a bridge between ME and OTHERS. Nine times out of ten, those conversations reveal something I didn’t know and I leave truly understanding. In the end, it builds trust one relationship at a time. Every one of those interactions in our organization is a tiny thread that eventually weaves a culture of trust.

How do you approach these situations in your organization? Does it work?